Expectations vs Reality

Queen have you ever felt like you been in a runt between your goals and where you are currently? Frustrated with the expectations of your life and the reality that you are no where near what you planned in your 20’s let alone the fast-burning trail of your 30’s. Between our expectations in life and the reality, there is a clear-cut difference. Expectations are those that we consider as possible and likely to occur. These are our beliefs, hopes and dreams for the future. People can have numerous expectations concerning their lives, such as to educate one’s self, to be employed in a prestigious organization, to lead a beautiful life with a family, etc. When the reality, on the other hand, is the state of things as they are. Reality includes everything around us, those that can be seen and those that cannot be seen. It includes our views, attitudes, life, those who surround us and almost every aspect in our current life. We are full of expectations. Whether we know it or not, its ultimately apart of who we are. The things that we consider as our future and our realizations for the future. When a person has high expectations for their self, there is a greater possibility for them to be disappointed if it is not met. For example, a student who has extremely high expectations of entering a prestigious university will be crushed if he fails to meet this expectation. However, if the individual has low expectations, there is less possibility for him to be disappointed. Also, if the individual expectation is far away from the realities of his life, it will be difficult for him to achieve them. People not only have expectations for themselves but also for others around them. We all have expectations for our friends and family as well as interactions with everyone around you. Now in no means am I saying to lower your expectation but more to balance the present in our reality. What’s crazy is research backs up this idea that we may not fully appreciate what we have when we are expecting more or comparing what we have to what we could have. One study found that participants who were exposed to a subliminal reminder of wealth spent less time savoring a chocolate bar and exhibited less enjoyment of the experience that other subjects who were not reminded of wealth. This is an interesting study that can remind us all to try to savor our chocolate (and lives) more, and perhaps to try not to remind ourselves of what we don't have. This study can also remind us, however, of how easy it is to let our thoughts color our enjoyment of what we actually have. How many times have we focused so much on something we wanted that we didn't truly savor what we had? How often might our expectations for great things make us feel like what we have isn't really that great (when there are many people who have less)? Finally, our expectations can get the better of us when we expect more than what is realistic in a given situation. We might expect our partners to live up to what we see in romance films, our jobs to be idealized versions we had as children, or even our lives to match up to what we see on Instagram. Our expectations can create significant stress when they don't match up to reality. Also consider how social media can greatly contribute to this: we compare our own worst moments (those not deemed to be shareable online) to others' best moments, which very often are filtered to seem perfect. We may not even realize this mismatched comparison. Unfortunately, it places a very unhealthy part in our mental space, creating a breeding ground for stagnant growth and withered away dream. Our expectations for our lives may be unrealistic and skewed based on what we think others have. Our perspective of what others have is limited; they do not have the lives we perceive. So sis what do we do? Are we doomed for the pressures that are built in the expectation of life or create a reality that we can enjoy and be in total gratitude for?